Il a déclaré “Pas de sexe avant le mariage” seulement pour découvrir le choc de ma vie après le mariage

Maria nous raconte son histoire choquante et dit: Cela fait quatre ans et rien n’a changé. J’abandonne. Je ne sais pas quand mais très bientôt je le ferais. Et cela m’a apporté le courage de partager mon histoire avec vous.

Je suis une fille d’église. La majorité de mes journées sont passées à l’église parce qu’il ya toujours quelque chose à faire.

C’est dans l’église que j’ai trouvé mon premier petit ami. Nous sommes sortis depuis trois ans et il a voyagé à l’étranger. Un an après avoir voyagé, il m’a dit de trouver quelqu’un d’autre car il ne reviendrait pas. Deux ans après avoir rompu avec moi, il est revenu, a épousé une autre femme et l’a emmenée à l’étranger pour vivre avec lui.

Je n’étais pas en colère Le temps de Dieu est le meilleur et j’ai toujours cru que ce qui est vraiment à moi ne peut pas être enlevé à moi. J’étais heureux pour lui et je lui ai souhaité bonne chance. J’étais même le chanteur principal lors de leur mariage.

Puis j’ai rencontré Dawud. Dawud et moi sommes devenus proches et il m’a plus tard proposé et j’ai dit oui. Je connais Dawud depuis très longtemps. Nous sommes tous deux membres de la chorale de l’église. Le genre de voix qu’il a ressemble à ce que j’ai vu chez aucun humain. L’église est différente chaque fois qu’il mène le culte. Vous vous sentez comblé chaque fois qu’il chante le solo. C’est un homme bon et gentil de cœur.

La première règle qu’il a établie pour notre relation était «pas de relations sexuelles jusqu’à ce que nous nous mariions». Je l’ai bien compris parce que nous ne pouvons pas avoir de relations sexuelles et faire semblant d’être les plus saints parmi les saints. Qui trompe-t-on?

Pendant les deux années que nous avons fréquentées, nous n’avons jamais eu de relations sexuelles. Je dois avouer que nous nous sommes embrassés mais nous l’avons laissé là. Nous avons évité toutes les rencontres qui mèneraient au sexe, nous étions déterminés à garder le temple du Seigneur propre.

Deux ans après avoir fréquenté, nous nous sommes mariés. Vous pouvez imaginer le bonheur et la fierté dans mon cœur ce jour-là – pour avoir vécu une relation amoureuse sans avoir eu de rapports sexuels avant le mariage. Je me sentais mérité du voile et de la robe blanche comme neige. Quand il a finalement levé le voile, la signification de tout le processus s’est fait jour. C’était comme s’il dévoilait quelque chose qui a été caché depuis si longtemps. Je me souviens encore de ce sentiment.

Le premier soir de notre lune de miel, j’avais un plan de match. J’avais imaginé mentalement comment notre premier rapport sexuel allait se passer. Je l’avais joué encore et encore dans ma tête et tous les détails étaient restés dans mon esprit.

Immédiatement nous sommes entrés dans la pièce, j’étais sur lui. Nous avons commencé à nous embrasser et avons été pressés ensemble. Je pouvais sentir son renflement. Il devenait de plus en plus difficile de continuer à embrasser et à toucher. Je ne pouvais plus le supporter. À ce moment-là, nous étions tous les deux nus alors j’ai menti sur le lit en attendant sa poussée.

Je le désirais ardemment alors qu’il m’imposait de l’insérer. Dès qu’il l’a mis, il a perdu son renflement. Sa chose est morte et douce. C’était si soudain et rapide que je pensais que quelque chose n’allait pas. Il m’a regardé, embarrassé. Il a dit; «Je suppose que je suis un peu trop fatigué. Dormez un peu. Nous pouvons le faire à l’aube. »Il m’a embrassé et s’est tourné vers le mur et a dormi.

Je ne pouvais pas dormir. Je ne savais pas si je devais être fâché ou même frapper la tête avec un marteau. Mais l’aube n’était pas loin, alors je me suis mis à dormir. Je me suis réveillé vers 6h du matin et ce type était déjà habillé et prêt pour l’église.

L’église commence à 9h mais à 6h, il était déjà prêt et prêt à partir. Je lui ai seulement donné un regard, j’ai tourné de l’autre côté et j’ai continué à dormir. Il a tapoté sur mon épaule, «Chéri, c’est déjà le matin. Lève-toi et commençons notre dévotion pour que tu puisses te préparer tôt pour l’église.

Nous avons eu notre dévotion et plus tard nous sommes allés à l’église. Je dois admettre que les événements de la nuit m’ont fait réfléchir et j’ai eu peur. J’étais à l’église mais je n’ai pas entendu un mot de ce qui a été dit ce jour-là. «Est-ce comme ça que ça va se passer tous les jours?» Me suis-je demandé encore et encore.

Une autre nuit, la même histoire. La nuit suivante était encore pire. Il tombe en panne, je lui donne un coup de main pour le relever, puis il redescendra à l’entrée, puis une autre branlette pour le récupérer. De temps en temps jusqu’à ce que nous soyons tous les deux fatigués et abandonnés.

Finalement, nous avons tous les deux accepté qu’il y avait un problème. Il a avoué qu’il avait entrevu le problème avec son ancienne petite amie mais il pensait que c’était quelque chose qui avait à voir avec l’ex-petite amie, alors il ne l’a pas pris au sérieux.

Nous avons visité des hôpitaux mais nous n’avons eu aucune amélioration après des mois. Nous avons eu recours à des médicaments à base de plantes et, après plusieurs mois, rien n’a fonctionné. J’étais en grande détresse et j’avais besoin de parler à quelqu’un. Il a toujours crié à moi pour le garder secret et en parler plutôt à Dieu car il est le guérisseur ultime. C’est devenu le sujet de prière de nos dévotions matinales et de nos prières nocturnes, mais nous n’avons toujours pas obtenu les résultats.

Après un an de mariage, j’ai rassemblé mon courage et en ai parlé à notre pasteur. Nous avons été appelés à la maison du pasteur et conseillés pendant des heures. Nous avons prié et le pasteur nous a donné des instructions. Quand nous sommes rentrés à la maison ce soir-là, il était très en colère parce que j’ai pris le problème avec le pasteur. Il était préoccupé par ce que les gens diraient que de trouver des solutions.

Au cours de la troisième année du mariage, les problèmes d’accouchement sont apparus. Sa mère pensait que j’étais le problème et a commencé à me donner des médicaments à base de plantes pour accélérer le processus de grossesse. Mon parent a pensé la même chose.

Ma mère m’a emmené dans plusieurs camps de prière. Beaucoup de pasteurs ont touché mon ventre et ont prié pour qu’une graine pousse en moi. J’avais hâte d’aider à sauver le visage de mon mari et mon mariage. Certaines personnes de la chorale m’ont accusé de souffrir de stérilité à cause d’avortements antérieurs. Je portais tout simplement pour sauver le visage de mon mariage et tout en regardant le visage de Dieu pour un miracle.

Notre mariage a duré quatre ans en janvier et cet homme que j’appelle toujours mari n’est pas capable d’accomplir ses devoirs de nuit en tant qu’homme. Le plus triste est que les gens me regardent et pensent que je suis le problème. Mon mari chante dans l’église et certains pleurent même si ils pensent qu’il est loin des afflictions.

Maintenant, la mère de mon mari vit avec nous. Le but principal de son séjour chez nous est de veiller à boire les préparations à base de plantes qu’elle me prépare chaque matin et chaque soir. Pour son esprit innocent, je ne prends pas les médicaments et c’est pourquoi cela n’a pas fonctionné pendant tout ce temps. Elle est là pour que je le prenne chaque matin et chaque soir sans faute.

Combien de temps puis-je continuer à jouer à cette charade?

Pas trop longtemps, je peux le sentir dans mon esprit. Je suis fatigué et presque cassé. Il n’y a que deux personnes à qui je dois des explications: ma mère et mon père. Je sais que le jour où je déciderai que c’est fini, ils seraient les premiers à demander pourquoi. Ce jour-là, je vais exposer toutes les souffrances que je subis depuis quatre ans. Je leur dirai à quel point ces concoctions ont un goût amer et leur feront savoir que j’ai essayé. Je leur ferais savoir que je croyais aux miracles, mais peut-être que les miracles ne pouvaient pas croire en moi.

Et non, je ne pleurerai pas quand je déciderai finalement de partir. Je marcherais la tête haute, sachant que j’avais essayé. Sachant que je croyais. Sachant que je voulais le meilleur pour nous deux. Je n’ai pas eu la chance de prouver à quel point je pouvais être une femme et une mère, mais si je pars maintenant, je pourrais avoir une autre chance d’aimer et qui sait, le renflement pourrait ne plus mourir.

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